When You're a Boy, The World Is . . .

Your bathroom.

Exhibit A:

While on a walk on a not-private trail with Mommy and Evie and a stroller, you decide you need to pee. You immediately:

A) Quietly and politely tell Mommy and wait till you get home to use the toilet

B) Do a potty dance, but make it to the bathrooms at the nearby park

C) Discretely use an off-the-trail neighboring tree as an impromptu "potty tree"

D) Drop your drawers smack dab in the middle of the trail and let it all fly.

Correct Answer: D. While Mommy looks frantically around to make sure no one sees while hoping that the next person on the trail assumes it came from a dog, not her 4-year-old.

Exhibit B:

You are not having a good day. Your 4-year-old cousin is over and you're alone in the basement. You then:

A) Quietly and politely watch a movie while trying not to wake the baby

B) Play with cars without fighting. No one cries.

C) Run in circles, wrestle and pummel each other all without jumping off the furniture or breaking anything.

D) Decide the basement trashcan (small, white, on the counter and NOT empty) looks like the perfect place to relieve yourself. And encourage your cousing to do the same before he leaves for the night.

Correct Answer: D. Though if you are a good test-taker you will realize than the others are false because they could never happen. At least he told me about it before he went to bed (I think the story started out with a little giggle and "Hey, mom, one time I peed in the bucket in the basement.")

Photo via Flickr.